Love & Why It Hurts

 Love is painful because it creates the way for bliss.

Love is painful because it transforms. Love is mutation. Each transformation is going to be painful because the old has to be left for the new. The old is familiar, secure, safe, the new is absolutely unknown. You will be moving in an uncharted ocean. You cannot use your mind with the new’ with the old, the mind is skillful. The mind can function only with the old’ with the new, the mind is utterly useless.

Hence, fear arises, and leaving the old, comfortable, safe world, the world of convenience, pain arises. It is the same pain that the child feels when he comes out of the womb of the mother. It is the same pain that the bird feels when he comes out of the egg. It is the same pain that the bird will feel when he will try for the first time to be on the wing.

The fear of the unknown, and the security of the known, the insecurity of the unknown, the unpredictability of the unknown, makes one very much frightened.

And because the transformation is going to be from the self towards a state of no-self, agony is very deep. But you Cannot have ecstasy without going through agony. If the gold wants to be purified, it has to pass through fire.

Love is fire.

It is because of the pain of love, millions of people live a loveless life. They too suffer, and their suffering is futile. To suffer in love is not to suffer in vain. To suffer in love is creative’ it takes you to higher levels of consciousness. To suffer without love is utterly a waste’ it leads you nowhere, it keeps you moving in the same vicious circle.

The man who is without love is narcissistic, he is closed. He knows only himself. And how much can he know himself if he has not known the other, because only the other can function as a mirror? You will never know yourself without knowing the other. Love is very fundamental for self-knowledge too. The person who has not known the other in deep love, in intense passion, in utter ecstasy, will not be able to know who he is, because he will not have the mirror to see his own reflection.

Relationship is a mirror, and the purer the love is, the higher the love is, the better the mirror, the cleaner the mirror. But the higher love needs that you should be open. The higher love needs you to be vulnerable. You have to drop your armor’ that is painful. You have not to be constantly on guard. You have to drop the calculating mind. You have to risk. You have to live dangerously. The other can hurt you’ that is the fear in being vulnerable. The other can reject you’ that is the fear in being in love.

The reflection that you will find in the other of your own self may be ugly’ that is the anxiety. Avoid the mirror. But by avoiding the mirror you are not going to become beautiful. By avoiding the situation you are not going to grow either. The challenge has to be taken.

One has to go into love. That is the first step towards God, and it cannot be bypassed. Those who try to bypass the step of love will never reach God. That is absolutely necessary because you become aware of your totality only when you are provoked by the presence of the other, when your presence is enhanced by the presence of the other, when you are brought out of your narcissistic, closed world under the open sky.

Love is an open sky. To be in love is to be on the wing. But certainly, the unbounded sky creates fear.

And to drop the ego is very painful because we have been taught to cultivate the ego. We think the ego is our only treasure. We have been protecting it, we have been decorating it, we have been continuously polishing it, and when love knocks on the door, all that is needed to fall in love is to put aside the ego’ certainly it is painful. It is your whole life’s work, it is all that you have created — this ugly ego, this idea that “I am separate from existence. ”

This idea is ugly because it is untrue. This idea is illusory, but our society exists, is based on this idea that each person is a person, not a presence.

The truth is that there is no person at all in the world’ there is only presence. You are not — not as an ego, separate from the whole. You are part of the whole. The whole penetrates you, the whole breathes in you, pulsates in you, the whole is your life.

Love gives you the first experience of being in tune with something that is not your ego. Love gives you the first lesson that you can fall into harmony with someone who has never been part of your ego. If you can be in harmony with a woman, if you can be in harmony with a friend, with a man, if you can be in harmony with your child or with your mother, why can’t you be in harmony with all human beings? And if to be in harmony with a single person gives such joy, what will be the outcome if you are in harmony with all human beings? And if you can be in harmony with all human beings, why can’t you be in harmony with animals and birds and trees? Then one step leads to another.

Love is a ladder. It starts with one person, it ends with the totality. Love is the beginning, God is the end. To be afraid of love, to be afraid of the growing pains of love, is to remain enclosed in a dark cell.

Modern man is living in a dark cell’ it is narcissistic. Narcissism is the greatest obsession of the modern mind.

And then there are problems, problems which are meaningless. There are problems which are creative because they lead you to higher awareness. There are problems which lead you nowhere’ they simply keep you tethered, they simply keep you in your old mess.

Love creates problems. You can avoid those problems by avoiding love. But those are very essential problems! They have to be faced, encountered’ they have to be lived and gone through and gone beyond. And to go beyond, the way is through. Love is the only real thing worth doing. All else is secondary. If it helps love, it is good. All else is just a means, love is the end. So whatsoever the pain, go into love.

If you don’t go into love, as many people have decided, then you are stuck with yourself. Then your life is not a pilgrimage, then your life is not a river going to the ocean’ your life is a stagnant pool, dirty, and soon there will be nothing but dirt and mud. To keep clean, one needs to keep flowing. A river remains clean because it goes on flowing. Flow is the process of remaining continuously virgin.

A lover remains a virgin. All lovers are virgin. The people who don’t love cannot remain virgin’ they become dormant, stagnant’ they start stinking sooner or later — and sooner than later — because they have nowhere to go. Their life is dead.

That’s where modern man finds himself, and because of this, all kinds of neuroses, all kinds of madnesses, have become rampant. Psychological illness has taken epidemic proportions. It is no more that a few individuals are psychologically ill’ the reality is the whole earth has become a madhouse. The whole of humanity is suffering from a kind of neurosis.

And that neurosis is coming from your narcissistic stagnancy. Everyone is stuck with one’s own illusion of having a separate self’ then people go mad. And this madness is meaningless, unproductive, uncreative. Or people start committing suicide. Those suicides are also unproductive, uncreative.

You may not commit suicide by taking poison or jumping from a cliff or by shooting yourself, but you can commit a suicide which is a very slow process, and that’s what happens. Very few people commit suicide suddenly. Others have decided for a slow suicide’ gradually, slowly, slowly they die. But almost, the tendency to be suicidal has become universal.

This is no way to live, and the reason, the fundamental reason, is we have forgotten the language of love. We are no more courageous enough to go into that adventure called love.

Hence people are interested in sex, because sex is not risky. It is momentary, you don’t get involved. Love is involvement’ it is commitment. It is not momentary. Once it takes roots, it can be forever. It can be a lifelong involvement. Love needs intimacy, and only when you are intimate does the other become a mirror. When you meet sexually with a woman or a man, you have not met at all’ in fact, you avoided the soul of the other person. You just used the body and escaped, and the other used your body and escaped. You never became intimate enough to reveal each other’s original faces.

It is painful, but don’t avoid it. If you avoid it you have avoided the greatest opportunity to grow. Go into it, suffer love, because through the suffering comes great ecstasy. Yes, there is agony, but out of the agony, ecstasy is born. Yes, you will have to die as an ego, but if you can die as an ego, you will be born as God, as a Buddha. And love will give you the first tongue-tip-taste of Tao, of Sufism, of Zen. Love will give you the first proof that God is, that life is not meaningless.

The people who say life is meaningless are the people who have not known love. All that they are saying is that their life has missed love.

Let there be pain, let there be suffering. Go through the dark night, and you will reach to a beautiful sunrise. It is only in the womb of the dark night that the sun evolves. It is only through the dark night that the morning comes.

My whole approach here is that of love. I teach only love and only love and nothing else. You can forget about God’ that is just an empty word. You can forget about prayers because they are only rituals imposed by others on you. Love is the natural prayer, not imposed by anybody. You are born with it. Love is the true God — not the God of theologians, but the God of Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, the God of the Sufis. Love is a tariqa, a method, to kill you as a separate individual and to help you become the infinite. Disappear as a dewdrop and become the ocean, but you will have to pass through the door of love.

And certainly when one starts disappearing like a dewdrop, and one has lived long as a dewdrop, it hurts, because one has been thinking, “I am this, and now this is going. I am dying. ” You are not dying, but only an illusion is dying. You have become identified with the illusion, true, but the illusion is still an illusion. And only when the illusion is gone will you be able to see who you are. And that revelation brings you to the ultimate peak of joy, bliss, celebration.

OSHO – The Secret, #2

Copyright © 2010 Osho International Foundation

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This entry was posted in Inner Transformation, Lifestyle, Osho on Love, Psychology, Relating and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
  • http://gmail.com divinious

    LOVE…..heals & REVEALS the INNATE qualities OF selflessness:CARE & livin FOR ur LOVE…..
    amor EST vita…..LOVE z LIFE…..

    • natalia

      I GET SICK AND TIRED OF THIS KIND OF LITERATURE, REFERRING TO LOVE AND NOTHING , NOT KNOWING(THE AUTHOR) ABOUT LOVE OR JUSTICE AT ALL. THIS MAN (OSHO) HAS A LOTS OF CARS AND A PRIVATE JET(JUST LIKE JESUSCRIST OR GANDHI OR MADRE TERESA DE CALCUTA?) JAJAJA! BECAUSE OF DUMB PEOPLE THAT PREFER NOT TO GO TO A THERAPIST OR JUST BELIEVE IN GOD.THE SICK SEEKERS THAT THINKS HAPPINESS IS OUT THERE PRINTED IN BOOKS AND OCCURS THAT SOMEONE LIKE OSHO WHO PROCLAIMED “NOTHING” IT WAS FULL OF LUXURY AROUND…IRONIC ….LOVE IS NOT PAINFULL, TRANSFORMATION IT IS, BUT ONE DOES NOT HAVE TO DO WITH THE OTHER.WHEN LOVE IS PAINFULL IT IS NOT RIGHT AND WE HAVE TO LET IT GO ..AND IF YOU CANT OR JUST DONT KNOW HOW, PLEASE VISIT A THERAPIST.DONT LOOSE YOUR TIME READING THINGS FROM A PERSON THAT NEVER LIVED LIKE YOU, THAT NEVER MET POVERTY OR WAS IN NEED.HOW CAN YOU FEEL SO MUCH LOVE AND HAVE SO MANY CARS OR PRIVATE JET WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE THAT JUST CANT EAT???? AND NOT JUST IN AFRICA..RIGHT BESIDE YOU…OUT IN THE STREETS…JUST TAKE A RIDE…

      • Cátia

        Ignorant… Osho has died many years ago… poisoned. And he lived in a very simple way.

      • PRS

        Osho always admitted that he was a “rich man’s guru” becos he said people in somalia dont need spirituality, they need food….and u cant figght poverty with poverty….war against war is still a war.

      • jai

        Obviously some one has has hurt you,
        Who hurt you … ?

      • OShon

        Start to love without reason ,you will get all ..actually you need of therapist .You are sick.And tired …take rest..

      • Douglas

        Dear Natalia,

        I cam upon this randomly as a friend of mine is going through some problems. I don’t know if you’re aware but Osho didn’t ‘own’ anything. All the cars and private jets were not his. They were gifts showered upon him for the truth and enlightenment he provided to so many others. I truly hope you come out of your judgement for him…he’s nothing more than a guide who’s trying to show you the way to yourself…

        May you become a light unto yourself!

      • ravi

        man you are sick…. dont see his material wealth you need to see his intellect…. love is not about bargain as osho says its just loving the other person without any expectations….

      • dr abhijit

        dear natalia u jst go through osho’s views about life, death,human nature,emotions,techniques of meditation u will c true side of osho’s deep spiritual thinking .u just go through d journey of osho or other spritual gurus who made people’s life easier by giving them what they want in their life.i m afraid u r in deep trouble, i truely think u need 2 sort out ur problems n change ur views.ur expression anger is also harmful 2 ur health.just take care b urself…

      • http://www.amberexperience.com Hinyawolf

        Why so full of fear? Obvious, you think you know everything so well, you’re totally wrong.
        You have no clue at all who he really was, but what I can see from your reaction he touched you, otherwise you would not react so fiercely!
        It’s easy to judge like that, from ignorance. Osho showed who people – humans really are.. that was it what he showed. He was a Master and a Coyote, to understand this you have to be on a certain level of consciousness. Also a lot of people around him, haven’t had any notion or realized who he was… they made him in a way how he was and this was his offer in life to show it to us…What we do with glorification, to ourselves, to the world, to others… in his teachings he tells everything we have to know. What I see is that you need attention by screaming in capitals!

      • zen_master

        Natalia
        I love you…
        feel it…understand it…I love you from the deep of my heart. I understand you, I know you.
        I am in deep Love with you not because you are you.
        Its because you exists. You could have been a tom, dick or harry but you are you Natalia, that is why I love you and I love you deep from my heart. Without any restrictions, without any commitments and without constraints I love….and for everytime you feel sad so will I, and everytime when you are happy so will I.
        and now start every day of your life understanding me, understanding how much I love you….
        and you will know what the Love in my heart can do for you…
        bye…have a good day Natalia…..

        • Ignorant

          Zen master.. i couldn’t describe what i felt, but was good.. can u suggest me some books..if, u can, taht would be really grateful..

          • zen_master

            see reading books is just a way to ignite your thoughts and reach a state of no thoughts. I think you are reading fine my brother….go through OSHO he is the best Guru that one can have..and make sure there is a point when you stop and start what has to be done..Love, get attached to things and start loving everything..you will understand the miracles…I dont know what you felt and I wont be able to understand it in my life time if its not true brother…and truly i don’t know it…but there is a point in all humans where we can connect..connect in Love..understand that we are so much alike..the only thing that is differentiating you and me is our minds..see if for true Love mind is inbetween then jst kill it..

        • Sebastian

          fuck zenmaster. you just hit me with a bamboo stick. im all puzzled. i was going trough this checking with my mind who knows stuff and who doesnt bla bla bla. but that was a hit. now my mind is in my belly and i wonder maybe the umbilical cord is there for a reason. must be love. i got a glimpse of the reality you must be in. im just experiencing the agonies of love again but this time my eyes are open. and all the energy that was flowing towards my beloved is now also flowing towards me and more of that and i feel that everything is forgiven, has always been. even though shes moving on its ok. im so in love with myself. im not asking for anything…its like mushrooms without effects and not coming down plus its real :)

      • Shirley

        People take what’s useful for them. If it’s not useful for you, just go read something else. Why are you reading this? Because you are looking for something you can’t find within yourself and you think you’ll find it searching on the internet? And maybe you just didn’t find what you wanted to hear so you burst out pointing your finger to people who have chosen to believe in love as it’s described in here. If you were not so full of rage of self disapproval, you wouldn’t have bothered writing this.

        Have a good day and I hope you find what you are missing.

      • Ignorant

        so Natalia, u have given all ur money and I hope ur now in africa, feeding those people.. i don’t know, what LOVE exactly is .. but, I’m sure it has nothing to do with poor or rich…

        • zen_master

          Love has to do with being poor and rich brother…
          one who has love is rich and one who dosent have it is poor…
          there is a reason why OSHO said he was the guru of the rich…

      • keoni

        seriously lady.. do some homework.. you cant pretend to be a professional adviser because you happen to agree with psycology.. and read one quote of osho.. and maybe heard a rumor or two that he lived like a king.. there are people who live like kings because they have a gift that you dont.. its ok though.. its just your ego talking..

      • marko

        why judge someone so harshly just ’cause he/she is/was on a different kind of ride than yours?

        the question, that you have only to yourself to answer, is – do you Love your ride?

        he did

        all the best to you

      • sakal

        You make five mistakes. First saying that having money somehow protects you from love and from pain. Second assuming that this is about reading books. Third, you are indeed encouraged to pass through therapy. Fourth, your god is merely a consolation. Five, you say “WHEN LOVE IS PAINFULL IT IS NOT RIGHT AND WE HAVE TO LET IT GO ” – it is this letting go that is said to be painful. If it is not painful for you, then your love was a poor thing, inhuman – you are exactly the person who is meant; “To be afraid of love, to be afraid of the growing pains of love, is to remain enclosed in a dark cell.”

  • peter burg

    good and so true; but many people will never experience it because they are so materialistic and sexoholic!
    they do not know that love is higher then simple sex!

  • Evelyn

    Now I can’t go back. I cannot unbecome. I know that what I have sensed isn’t merely illusion. I am not some crazy, obsessive, addicted person. You have written down on this page what I was coming to know, that love is freeing me. That my beloved is the doorway to my self-which-is-all. “Yes,” you have said, “I see it too.” Thank you.

    • akhilesh

      if you see, then it is great!!!!

    • zen_master

      Evelyn you are not alone..
      just think of the beauty…millions of people sharing the same Love over thousands of years, just trying to make understand this beauty or just rejoicing in it…just feel their love that they had in their hearts for you.. :)
      and imagining you understanding someone who have already understood your understanding….its magnificent…

  • lana

    Very true! but sadly most people are incapable of going beyond love and beyond this utilitarian world…..

    • zen_master

      Only most, not everybody lana…
      spread the word of Love…Its more easy than you imagine,
      They all have it, they all have forgotten that they have..
      remind them once and they might never forget…
      But there is a old saying from our side…
      You can awaken a person who is sleeping but what about someone who is pretending to…
      So a lot of things are to backfire when you are in Love…but thats the way it is…….

  • Mina

    I totally agree in an ultimate reality sense but down in the world, many times humans come with their own IDEAS (maybe models from parents or other ideals) of what love is – many stick to those beliefs as ultimate truths and tend to impose them (knowingly or unknowingly) on their “loved ones”, trying to mold the other at all cost into their own vision of what love is. How does one open up/trust completely into love when there is a presence of ego already (ignorance, control, domination, manipulation)? I only see change if BOTH people are aware or actually want to see their own illusions about love in order to let go an live a truer/purer love.

    • Nadia

      Amen sister!

    • HailAddis

      Well said! Not forgeting that the couples should bring some meditativeness in to the relationship. Otherwise, i believe, it would be futile.

  • lavalives

    These words and this explanation opened up that door thst i closed a while back…these words reflect my desire to not live in dogma and fear. Thank you for your thoughts.
    LL

  • Martinus

    True love isn’t painful. If love is painful then it isn’t love.

    • New Man

      Superb words!!!

  • Anjali

    Thanks for such kind of nicest artical…….this is a great secret…….simple to mention but very very difficult to carry……..those who can successful in this arena are really so fortunates…….by god grace one can attain this stage n thereafter he stays within god while being in this world. Thanks again.

    • zen_master

      the key lies within you…

  • http://www.discountphotoproducts.com Ann

    Thank you for this writing! I enjoyed reading this information.
    God is love, and love is of God!

  • http://namedafterasaint.wordpress.com namedafterasaint

    respect the sentiment and have dealt with it as well. What if the pain destroys you in the process?

    • HailAddis

      There should always be another chances.

  • Nadia

    There were parts of this piece that I loved and parts of it that just didnt ring true (for me) which is why I loved it so much. We don’t always have to agree to see the beauty in a person’s point of view! And it brings out what feels true for ourselves! So thank you for this beautiful piece.

    Many times we stay in relationships based on old programs or beliefs that attracted us to our partner in the first place. If we learn to love ourselves (where we feel deserving and worthy of love) and our partner stays stagnate…how can we love someone who doesn’t love themselves?

    I have truly loved only one man my entire life (I am 38) and have decided after 13 years that I had to leave him. I loved (and still) love him with all my heart however he cannot accept me for who I am today. I grew and he grew in other ways and our mirrors stopped matching.

    We can shower our partner with love and affection however it will never be enough for them if they don’t have love for themselves. If their “hammers “are banging away in their minds, no kind words or actions from others (even their loved ones) can help unless they are aware of those hammers and learn to identify when they come out and gently put them down when they are triggered. . Otherwise it’ll always be the other person’s fault and they will never be “enough”.

    Do we regress and fake it to stay in the relationship? It is my humble opinion that it truly takes two to make it work and if one doesn’t have love for themselves first (or is at least working on it) then loving another becomes way more difficult. .

    It is my belief (and maybe it is my naivety) that love can be harmonious and not painful when both partners are in alignment and love themselves first. I am not talking “ego kind of narcissism” but the love that comes from one feeling deserving of being loved in the first place. Can it happen when you are with your partner; YES! However if the person you are with is triggering all your old “programs” and is not sensitive to them after you have explained them to him or her (because they just don’t get it) sometimes true love is knowing when to walk away. Is it love when being in the relationship isn’t serving you and you aren’t serving them ?

    I had to make the very painful (agonizing) decision to walk away from a passionate beautiful man (inside and out) because I knew we were not a good fit. As I have lain in my bed many nights unable to sleep my mind knows that I made the right decision but my heart aches. And truthfully some of my old non-worthiness beliefs coem out to spook me telling me things like…how can you let him go? Who will ever love you? and so on…yet I know they are just old programs of when I was abused as a child.

    I know deep down that I had to be the one to end it as it looked like it was destined to have gone for another painful 13 years. Maybe, just maybe, we learn from our past loves what we needed from each other and our journey is to continue without the other so that we may continue to grow.

    We are all deserving of a kind of love that is peaceful and kind and full of joy.

  • Nadia

    Tatiana, I so understand you my sister. The good news for us is that we know how to love; and once we have loved once, we can love again!

    Time heals all things as the saying goes and I believe in my hearts of hearts that this will be for us as well.

    What brings me some peace in my heart is the gratitude I have to God and the Universe that I met and loved him and he loved me the best way we knew how. He will always be a part of my life. Just not the way that I originally thought. And I am a better person (and hopefully he is able to see it too) because of what I learned by being with him.

    Take care Tatiana. Sending you lots of love your way!

  • http://www.andreisun.wordpress.com Ansun

    Thank you, Master! Starting the New Year with this message makes my heart weep of joy!

  • Lori

    beautiful response Srumi…

  • Jennifer

    Great article! love it, gets right at the heart of the matter. Fabulous!

  • geetha

    Yes, love is beyond physical limitations, love is ultimate, love heals and wins.

  • arundhati

    i am in love <3 <3<3

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    . The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved loved for ourselves or rather loved in spite of ourselves. Used to the idea that diamonds are girl s best friends they forget that money cannot buy you love.

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  • deelaa

    while Osho and other guides who have died years ago are talking about pure love and how it needs to be processed and transformed, I look around and see thousands with the sole concern of ‘who just sucked up who”.. hmm makes me wonder, are we going back instead of forward? but let’s not judge, maybe we need to walk through the mud first to get it out of our system

    • zen_master

      hihihihihihihi…..
      things will change deelaa…what we are showin is not the real us…
      the real us knows how to love…and wen we understand the real us we will know it because at there we are at ease..we are a peace and we are in bliss…

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  • anita singh

    agony, hurt……i’m wholly agreee…but why only to one ?????????? ALWAYS///

  • LVQuest

    I HATE LOVE and this article just made me understand that Id rather be a Pool then a river. All I need is my career no friends, family, other than the cultures Ill study I don’t need people.
    LOVE CAN SUCK IT and all those who see it more than a bodily reaction to certain hormones.
    This pain i wish it on no one, its to gruesome to bear.

    • Angela

      Why is your name LVQuest? What are you searching for? When real love exists pain goes away as love is also total respect and understanding to the feelings of the other. We are all parts of the whole and there is nothing that is our own property, especially a human being. Understand, let go and always be happy. :)

    • zen_master

      Love is pain my dear..but u need real balls to truly love one..give all your trust and faith to someone..and the pain that you are experiencing is so beautiful than not havin love..trust me it is, your mind may say that no I dont want love but even then love, not just people or animals..love everything..love the creation…

      • Divya

        Do you say love even when your loved one leave you?
        please suggest.

  • suzu

    than why it is painful? why it has fear? don’t you thing it is love. love is joy and sorrow when you left someone behind or someone left you behind…….
    if you have met god please ask him what was the fault in my love that i couldnt get….

  • agi

    oh LVQuest,u must be so much in pain because of being in love with someone! I totally understand your thoughts,its always painful when somebody refuse your flowers..:O/

  • Anyi Justine Ibe

    Pls always send me ur post via my email.
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  • Padam Parajuli

    there is no any other word- Love Love Love only Love!

  • http://www.inspirational-quotes-hq.com/Inspirational-Quotes-on-Dealing-With-HeartBreak.html Connect With Inspiration

    I hope that you like this inspirational quote on love as well…

    “To love at all is to be vulnerable.
    Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.
    If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.
    Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements.
    Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.
    But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change.
    It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
    To love is to be vulnerable.”
    ? C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

  • Fal

    Attachment is what causes misery. When you are attached the misery and pain grows. Can you Love without attachment? Yes. Yet ,Love without attachment also causes pain. So are love and attachment are same as both causes equal pain?
    Love is not a contract or a festival, it is what one heart feels for the other heart that he loves. If both hearts are attached then the pain becomes less but one sided love one heart loving the other heart, the pain is undivided and becomes immense pain. Indiffernce, ignoring the other person’s heart, avoiding the other heart, causes more pain. Fal

  • Jeannette

    So beautiful. Thankyou x

  • http://facebook antonella

    many years ago,about thirty,I was in love with a boy who became sannyasin we were very young and had a very nice feeling but I was not ready to understand,didn’t accept it and left him with pain.now at 48,while working,start reading a book I found, about Osho and I was curious,found videos,listening his words changes my opinion…..I like his voice,it’s so simple ,my heart was broken…..I love him that’s all

  • theraindance

    I am sure there are a million reasons to refuse this on the basis of it being from a spiritual path. And so many ways to fight accepting it. However it is exactly this type of love that keeps a mother with her children. And if more men adopt this way of loving more families will stay together and build grounding and strength. There are so many cowardly people who want the movie version of love or the american dream but then shit their pants when relationships get hard. This is the fragmentation of our society.

  • Ana

    If I want to come out of the bonds of marriage to seek love, is that wrong?

  • Abraham

    The whole of spiritual Guruhood thrives on junk like this article, promising all sorts of bliss in some sort of hereafter. The ‘truth’ that OSHO claims to propound is just another theory like any other religious theory or claim.

    • Annamski

      Abraham,while you look at the cake as a recipe it will always be flat,dry and without taste;why not try cooking the recipe? Then you will understand and experience the delicious flavours contained therein.Test your theory of commenting on a recipe against one of a real life cake.Enjoy,and so much love to you brother!

  • http://oshotimes.blog.osho.com/2012/03/osho-love-hurts/#more-272 AJQ

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  • Rumi

    why do you need someone to reveal the love inside yourselves?
    Go read Rumi.. aaaaand it is free of charge :)

    • Shirley

      maybe because the world we live in nowadays is just filled with false ideas of what’s important. They teach us to gather money, fame, properties. They also teach us to fight against each other, not to love each other, not to appreciate each other’s virtues, but to point out other’s mistakes. Sad, but true,

  • Shirley

    My mother has always taught me that love is not love if it’s not mutual. And I understand exactly what is painful and what is not. Love itself it’s not, it’s the process of leaving old structures behind, of trying to be a better person and concentrate in that “us” instead of in that “me”. I am now living all of this. I have to grow up a little, I have to stop being childish, because otherwise, I’ll lose a very important person in my life. And I’m glad I have to do it, because it’ll make me a better human being. I recognize that all I have to change about me is bad for me and for everyone close to me. It’s not like I’m trying to be what someone wants me to, but like I really need to stop being some things I am because I want to be a better person. Still, it hurts a bit, I feel kind of lost and insecure. It’s really scary. And what really frightens me the most is that I don’t know if he is really wanting to go into that commitment love is. We both are afraid to settle down. For example, he is the kind of man who likes to jump into sex so fast… and then escape, as Osho says. But with me it has been different. He agreed to slow down things, he agreed not to have sex for six months now. We had to go trough a very nasty fight, but in the end, I want to believe that love was more important, more powerful and we’re still together. I know my choice to give my ego up is the best for me, even if he wants to leave me anyway. But I can’t help wondering if he would do the same just to be in harmony with me…

  • http://www.inspirational-quotes-hq.com/Inspirational-Quotes-on-Dealing-With-HeartBreak.html connectwithinspiration

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    Dealing with heartbreak

  • Tay

    Wow What writings and responses ! My first time … Pls can someone give views on:

    - Our sole and soul journeys seem to all to do with LOVE. To get to PURE LOVE state in the universal sense, there must be equally the apparent shadow of love ie WAR (Hatred) ? They exist together? Or can we get into ‘transcedental state’ whereby there is ONLY LOVE with no shadows ??

    - I read somewhere that REAL TIME is not linear and it is possible to time travel (ie forward and backwards). Does anyone out there know or have some knowledge about time travel? Can we go ‘back in time’ to re-solve matters ? Knowingly or unknowingly ?? Angels are possibly energies who have ‘travel back’ to help with our cause ie purify our love journeys ?

    Thank you all for your help. We are in it together.

  • http://www.inspirational-quotes-hq.com/Law-Of-Attraction-Inspirational-Quotes.html ConnectWithInspiration

    Hi Tay- These are wonderful questions. I don’t recall OSHO talking about these topics too much (Except in one book where he talked about the seven levels- Jin Khoja Tin Paiya in Hindi- there may be more but I don’t recall). His emphasis was mostly on the practical situations of life and how to live joyfully and in harmony. In my case out of curiosity I also tried to find these answers…

    I would try to provide a short answer based upon my knowledge and information but suggest to become familiar with Law Of One and the Law Of Attraction (check Abraham Hicks).

    Law of One talks about different levels of existence and how we humans are incarnated on the 3 rd density which is the density of duality. The love is the answers to all problems in this density. By the way we are moving to the density of Love the 4th density. They also talk about the hate and evil and the existence of negative entities up to certain levels. On high level there is only oneness and variations of it…There is discussion on time travel as well…

    Law of attraction addresses the fundamental principle of the universe..that it comes together for the purpose of co-creation. And you always draw into your experience only that which you are interested in experiencing…so that is why they say-everything is happening for a reason.

    To answer your questions directly-

    1- There is hate in this density where we are living but you can use the principles of law of attraction and choose to focus on love and harmony only.

    2-Time truly exist all in one instance. It is all happening all at the same time. Past/present and future is all happening simultaneously. But the way our density has been designed the time appears to be linear. And it has it’s own benefit. It gives us Time (duh) to play with… All the existence is a joyful creation for the purpose of Leela (playfulness)…

    Hope these short answers help. But do check the above out on the internet for details. Also feel free to connect with me through my online creation…

    Inspirational Quotes Head Quarters

  • narinder sethi

    osho would have smiled and said mind your life and rest will follow……any thing desired can be achived,only to be left behind on this planet after your trip here is over……just love and care for what you have in life,it cant be put in more simpler way !!

  • Divya

    Yes, what Osho says is absolutely true and lovely. But to be in love involves 2 individuals. In my case, I completely agree with Him, but my partner is not of this kind. Now what i mean to say is that to be in love like this needs to have a partner who also agrees with this. Today love is very superficial. people don’t want to take any risk in love, they are cowards and full of fear. I showed some courage and lost my so called love. Now am wondering like if that “love” was really there between us or what. Hope I lived at the time when Osho was alive. At least there would have been some possibility to live life this way Osho says, but now its almost impossible.

  • Ashish Kumar Banerjee

    One should just read Osho’s writings and be lost in it. This writing is so beautiful and accurate. As rightly said by some, unless you have reached a level of consciousness, it will be difficult to enjoy these writings. And if you have attained that level, then Osho’s writings are realizations! It just touches
    your heart.

    • Divya

      Yes agreed. Osho touches our life through his writings!!
      Love you Osho!! He just makes me feel hopeful every time..

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    According to me true love is beyond the state of mind so to get our love isn’t the aim of love.our mind is quite materialstic so love should be governed by our soul.

  • Hamza Ahmed

    OSHO was a great mentor and spiritual teacher.I wish he had lived longer!

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  • Murthy

    natalia, If you feel you get sick by listening to these kind of lectures , Don’t read/listen ,that is what OSHO says, FIND YOUR OWN WAY TO TRUTH.

    Road to truth is unique to every human beings.
    Don’t worship any one GANDHI,GOD,… who ever.
    If you start worship,you will loose your uniqueness.
    Think of nature,no two trees ,no two animals are unique.That is why they don’t cry.

    Thank you.

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